1. Thanks to everyone who offered help of any kind. I do really appreciate it. 2. Sorry that I did not respond to everyone who wrote in. I found out that reading all those email made me even more depressed somehow. I will send everyone who wrote in a personal thank you note once I am better.
With some of you I had a longer chat and one person even sent a teddy bear from the USA to Germany (where I am from). I made a picture of the teddy bear [2].
As I mentioned I got a lot of advice - even though I was not able to respond to everyone who sent me an email (sorry again). In the meantime I saw another doctor, changed the medication, changed my lifestyle and now I am feeling a bit better. I would not say that my life is worth living right now but it became better and you guys certainly helped a lot.
I would love to give something back to you but I am not sure what that should be. During the last couple of weeks I thought long and hard about that and I really would love to do something: Found a help network for hackers, somehow improve the current situation for crisis/suicide chats or something like that. So what do you think would improve the current situation of (depressed/suicidal) hackers. Please let's discuss that. Not everyone will make it on the front page when help is needed - or am I wrong?
[1] My original request for help: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4928031 [2] My new friend: http://i.imgur.com/nQQAVuc.jpg