Early Last year I was planning to buy a house in Southern California but ended up taking a job in the Bay Area and moving instead.

Kind of kicking myself for not pulling the trigger on a sub 1m house at <3%. I could have just rented it out.

Instead I’m in the Bay Area paying in rent what my entire mortgage + taxes would have been while my downpayment money (>200k) just erodes due to inflation- which is accentuated in housing.

Now I feel like I’ve missed an opportunity of a lifetime. Housing is much higher across the board and the Bay Area is just nuts.

If I was to buy here With a reasonable commute then I’m looking at 1.5m on the lower end for a 3 bedroom (I have a family). Which I can’t (reasonably) pull off at these rates.

I make more money than I did but a good portion of that is equity which hasn’t done well. My base income excluding equity is 190k and I’m priced out.

I made over $300k last year (it will likely be less than 300k this year due to equity drop) but I’m just as worried about our future as ever.

Part of me wonders if I should just buy further away as I just go into work a couple times a week or even go perm remote and buy something for cheaper a lot further away (or even move back).

One (of several) downside to living further away is access to career opportunities that are concentrated here. Maybe that’s over valued at this point with the shift to remote work.

Or I just put off home ownership for at least the next 5 years. Invest the cash in an index and focus on my career.

But I’m only getting older and have a family to support and want to provide stability and security. Housing is a hedge against ever increasing rents so despite the downsides should I just buy what I can and just move.

I’m so confused and think about this constantly. Would appreciate perspective.

Hope I don’t get flamed. I do feel like I have trouble with perspective and seeing a therapist.