Some dot points:
* Partner (34F) and I (33M) have been together 3 years, own a house. Live in Australia so healthcare is sorted
* Both on an upward trajectory in our careers. I'm a programmer/consulting CTO, she's in the CX, business transformation & org design space. Combined income AU$340k, which is decent for Melbourne
* I have some family support (dad is a doctor, mum loves kids) and am from the city we live in. She has no family support, isn't from the city we live in & her friendship group here have all bunkered down & had kids.
* Have put off having kids because we wanted to make sure our relationship is in a good place, we have enough savings, have a house etc & are ready. Both lived it up in our 20s + feel like very "full" humans. We're nervous but excited about the next stage of our lives.
Main problems we're anticipating:
* We're both worried her career will suffer. She LOVES working, and she's the most passionate and hard worker I've ever met. Gets a lot of value and self-worth from work.
* Both worried about her lacking support. Obviously we have my parents, but she won't feel super comfortable leaning on them in times of need.
* Both feel like we want to have at least 2 kids, so kinda feeling like it's not or never, but very well aware of employer discrimination (so many women get made redundant after going on maternity leave)
Questions:
* What sorts of discussions, negotiations, things-to-figure-out do you wish you did before you had kids?
* What are some arrangements you've made that have worked really well for you?
* How did you, as a team, manage your/your partner's career?
* What sort of hired help have you used and is it valuable?
* Is there anything that makes you think "Hell, if I were doing it all over again I'd have done ___ while we were childless"