Some dot points:

* Partner (34F) and I (33M) have been together 3 years, own a house. Live in Australia so healthcare is sorted

* Both on an upward trajectory in our careers. I'm a programmer/consulting CTO, she's in the CX, business transformation & org design space. Combined income AU$340k, which is decent for Melbourne

* I have some family support (dad is a doctor, mum loves kids) and am from the city we live in. She has no family support, isn't from the city we live in & her friendship group here have all bunkered down & had kids.

* Have put off having kids because we wanted to make sure our relationship is in a good place, we have enough savings, have a house etc & are ready. Both lived it up in our 20s + feel like very "full" humans. We're nervous but excited about the next stage of our lives.

Main problems we're anticipating:

* We're both worried her career will suffer. She LOVES working, and she's the most passionate and hard worker I've ever met. Gets a lot of value and self-worth from work.

* Both worried about her lacking support. Obviously we have my parents, but she won't feel super comfortable leaning on them in times of need.

* Both feel like we want to have at least 2 kids, so kinda feeling like it's not or never, but very well aware of employer discrimination (so many women get made redundant after going on maternity leave)

Questions:

* What sorts of discussions, negotiations, things-to-figure-out do you wish you did before you had kids?

* What are some arrangements you've made that have worked really well for you?

* How did you, as a team, manage your/your partner's career?

* What sort of hired help have you used and is it valuable?

* Is there anything that makes you think "Hell, if I were doing it all over again I'd have done ___ while we were childless"